Greater Love Than This

Today is Armistice Day. My dad was in Norway at one time in the army, and he used to tell us this tale -
He was on duty one night, and was walking in pitch blackness through the snow. He walked a bit further than he should have gone, and heard a voice calling, 'Go back. Go back.' He ignored it for a while, but then decided to return to (wherever he had to return to) The next morning he retraced his footprints, and found they stopped just before a really deep ravine. He eventually discovered that the 'Go back' was the call of a grouse, distorted in the night, but he liked to say it was his guardian angel keeping him safe.
So many people are killed in war, and it is still going on. As the song says, 'When will they ever learn.'
We owe so much to brave men and women, but the strange thing is - anyone with an ounce of patriotism says the same - and inevitably they will be people of opposing sides. We all think we're right. A German  lady once told my husband, that in Germany they call people of her age, 'The Fatherless Generation. Tragedy on all sides.
I live in safety, and my children too. The grandchildren are too young to worry about, but in ten or so years they may be called to serve their country.

In the meantime, people are giving their lives to their families in lots of little ways every day. Wherever there is love there will be little acts of self-sacrifice.
My parish priest was chatting to me the other day, upset because more people don't come to weekday services. He was talking about being pessimistic over human nature, but optimistic about God's mercy.  I think he needs to recognise that these non-weekday churchgoers are good people. They are working hard for their families, and when they get home they need to recuperate.
I said I was retired, but don't go to the evening Mass as the church is a twenty minute drive away, and it digs in to the evening. We have our main meal in the evening, and no way do I want to start cooking a meal at 7.30pm.
Right, I know this sounds pathetic, especially as I've been talking about the great sacrifices of people during the war, and maybe I'll rethink my stance, but my position at the moment is - I can (and do) pray at home. OK, it's not with the community, and a church needs a visible presence, but I get a lot out of meditating quietly on my own.
One day I'll have to write what I mean by meditating, as there are several different definitions.
In the meantime, a prayer for those killed in war.

'Eternal rest, give unto them, O Lord,

And let perpetual light shine upon them.

May they rest in peace. Amen.'

Oops.

This blog isn't turning out as I intended. It was meant to be more devotional, but it seems to be turning into a didactic sort of space. All head stuff.
Maybe that's where I am at the moment. I think that's it.
Anyway, hubby and I have booked up an 8 day silent retreat. That should sort me out ;-)
It's not until next year, but we're looking forward to it very much. One of the spiritual directors is Gerard Hughes, the well-known writer. I find him quite inspiring. I would love it if he was my director for the week, but I'm sure the Holy Spirit will give me the person just right for me (and for hubby)

Beautiful on the Mountain

Right. Now we're coming to a lovely way of thinking about the church. Church as Herald. This goes way back to Jesus' command before his Ascension.' Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.'
It's a very outward looking model. No standing still. There's a whole world out there, and it needs to know the Good News that God loves us.

I know lots of people that act from this model. There's Cicely, who used to stand at Speakers' Corner, and brave all the hecklers. She really knew her stuff. And in Sheffield last Saturday, there was a little black lady, doing her best to be heard above the street musicians. (Quick note here - the musicians spoke to me of God too)


As well as individuals there are whole communities that take this model on board. I think it suits the American temperament better than the reserved English.

I am actually Irish, and quite an introvert. I will obviously speak up for God (as if God needed my defence!) and everyone knows where I am coming from, but I have a horror of pushing religion down people's throats. I know that when the Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons come  knocking I do not receive them with an open mind. So why would people put up with me?

I am a happily married wife, mother and grandmother, but if I were anything else it would be a nun in an enclosed order, spending my life in prayer. It's some consolation that St Theresa of Lisieux is called the Patron Saint of the Missions, and she spent her short life doing ordinary things extraordinarily well, tucked away in her convent. She was also a Herald.

Actually, Herald on its own is a bit strange. Who decides on the interpretation of Scripture? People claim strange things that the Holy Spirit is said to have told them, but they often differ. This is where good old Institution comes into play. The institutionalised church sorted out what is Scripture in the first place, and as Catholics we have a wealth of tradition interpreting what it all means. I'm not denigrating personal insights. These are so important. But what about that pastor in America, who wanted to instigate 'Burn a Koran' day? Sheer bigotry. And done in God's name. Blasphemous.

It can also lead to a sort of triumphalism. 'We're right. Listen to us.' (Oops. I'm probably falling in to this trap myself by writing this blog. Only in my defence, I'm just meandering around, thinking aloud.)

Churches who see their mission as Herald also need to aware that they also need to look inwards. Their own community needs building up. As a Catholic I see this fulfilled in the Mass, which feeds us with Scripture and the bread of life, then sends us out.
I haven't got a photo of beautiful feet on a mountain (surprise surprise) but I have one of my grandson in his new football boots. I think that's an appropriate sign for Church as Herald. All kitted up and ready to go!

Footnote (lol) I have had a few religious books published, in my real name too, so I'm doing my little bit of heralding in this way, hopefully.

Thou art Peter

In my first post I said that I wasn't too keen on thinking of the Church as INSTITUTION. Of course, there are advantages as well as disadvantages of this model, but there are other ways of thinking of Church. I thought that for the next few posts I would go through a few of these ways. Some of my thinking has been formed by a Diploma in Pastoral Theology I took, and the book, 'Models of Church' by Avery Dulles, but most of what follows is personal 'meanderings.'
Right. Institution. This is the obvious and very visible model. Especially visible when the organisation is as big as the Catholic Church. There are advantages. Any 'successful' institution will have clear branding, and a well developed constitution. Most commercial organisations even have 'mission statements' now!
So a lot of people will feel 'safe' with this model. They know what they have to do. I've heard people say the Church is like a club. If you don't like/keep the rules get out. I hasten to say this is not what I believe Jesus says to us. He welcomes sinners. In fact, the Catholic Church has been called The Church of Sinners.
But anyway, the institutional church has an unbroken tradition going back to the apostles. It is the Church who organised Scripture as we know it today,(different from the Hebrew Bible) and there is a long tradition of moral teaching easily accessible through Vatican documents.
However, there are disadvantages with large institutions. They become unwieldy, and slow to change, and they can become very paternalistic.
I think it was to protect the ordinary Christian that the Church condemned Galileo when he discovered the earth was round. His findings didn't seem to correlate with the creation story, which puts us at the centre physically.
The same thing is happening today. Psychology is a comparatively new science, and it has taken the Church a long time to afford Christian burials to people who commit suicide. Thank God we do now, but there are other areas that need updating.
Much of the moral teaching of the Church needs rethinking. For example, sex should be a life-giving experience, but an African with Aids, making love with his lawfully married wife, could be giving her death if he doesn't use a condom, but the Church still says artificial contraception methods are wrong.
I think the fact that church leaders are male celibates, and usually getting on in years, contributes to the problem.
However, I want to end on a positive note. The visible church gives us all the 'smells and bells' experiences that address our senses.

And all these liturgical traditions are very symbolic. It's just that we need to take time and remember.
For example, (as the Pope has been in the public eye in England recently) bishops with their mitres and crooks should remind us (and them) that they are shepherds of the people. It must be a difficult line to tread. We mustn't be sheep, following blindly, and they mustn't be too paternalistic.
Oh let's finish on a whimsical note. Shepherds in the time of Jesus, were outcasts, as they couldn't keep the strict rules (washing etc) that were laid down. That's why St Luke makes a point of saying the Good News was first announced to shepherds. Jesus came for sinners. we all in it together, pope and people. The Church of Sinners.

Pilgrim's Progress

I went for a hike with some friends today. High up in the hills, and down valleys. We had a map between us, a book guide, and a compass on my i-phone! What should have been a four and half mile walk turned into a 6 mile walk as we got lost twice, once quite badly. To get back to the path, rather than retrace our footsteps we had to slide down a hill on our bottoms.
We also encountered two walkers who assured us we were on the right path, and a farm hand who said the same.
Four hours later we reached the pub where we had left our cars.

I will let you make your own conclusions about the journey of life, wrong turns and  guides, but I had another thought on the way home -


We had done a sort of Emmaus journey. Part one was when we travelled along, swapping stories, and not realising that Christ was at our side - The Liturgy of the Word. Part two was when we shared a meal, and at last were refreshed. The Liturgy of the Eucharist.
At that meal the travellers were unaware of Christ's presence too, and as soon as they recognised him he disappeared.
We can't see Christ now, but he is the stranger who walks next to us, and sits next to us on the bus.
It would be so good if we could treat everyone with the reverence they deserve.

There is an ad in England at the moment, asking for sponsors, where a young girl from a Third World country talks about how invisible she is. That's another whole area to consider. Christ isn't only next to us, he's far away. Do I recognise him? And what do I do about it.

Brass Serpent Paradox

The readings in church the other day were full of paradox. That's why I love scripture. It makes me question things. Questions give life. Once you have an answer the issue is dead.
Anyway, the first reading was about the Hebrews grumbling in the desert, and God sending snakes to bite them in punishment.  (Numbers 21:4-9)
When Moses prayed, God said make a brass serpent, and if anyone looks on it when they have been bitten, they shall be healed.
(First, I should say that I don't take this Bible story literally - it is there to teach us eternal truths, not historical facts.)
Anyway, it got me thinking about sin, punishment and forgiveness. I think sin  is selfishness, and it brings its own punishment. This is fairly obvious to me, but what was strange was the bit where Moses had to make a brass serpent for the healing to take place. Why not an eagle, or some creature that kills snakes?

Then I thought that it was because we need to face up to our sinfulness to be really healed. The people had to look at that serpent, and remember their weakness. This links so well with the second reading, (John 3:13-17) which was about Jesus having to be lifted up, and finishes with stating that God so loved the world that he sent his only son, not to condemn us but to save us.

Jesus died for us. Sin is deadly, but by facing our guilt, we are given life.

Papal Visit

What a subject to start this blog with. I'm a Catholic, and should be over the moon that he's coming to the United Kingdom, but the Institutional Church isn't that important to me.
I criticise the Church. A priest I used to work with once said to me, 'Criticise, but do it within the church. So many people leave.'

So I'm here to criticise.

I also love the Church. I love the little parish I attend, with the wonderful people there, all with their stories of hurt and guilt, love and happiness.

So I'm also here to celebrate.

But I'm here for many reasons. That's why I call this blog Alannah's Meanderings. I hope to post my ideas, questions, insights, anything.
I don't want it to be flippant. I have other blogs where I joke and chat.
This is my serious blog with my deeper thoughts in it. As I'm an introvert, I do not reveal myself very easily, and so this blog is anonymous. That way I can write from the heart.
I hope you enjoy it, dear non-existent reader. I'm sure I'll enjoy creating it.